The world is fixated on just one thing. Whatever that one thing is, you decide. But you can only do one. You have to own it, master it, face it, eat it, stomp it, put your own spin on it, refine it, learn more skills related to it. Stay focused. Never stop until you are at the top.
I have a problem with that. You could interpret that in two ways. They are both true. I have a problem with focusing on just one thing because I am not satisfied with just one thing. I have an intense level of curiosity and a drive to acquire skills via hands-on learning. What peaks my curiosity one day might not interest me at all three weeks later. I don’t want to focus on just one thing.
The other interpretation is that, since I love to start a bunch of new things all the time, I never take the time to develop and hone my craft, my art. What I do is supposed to make me money, make me rich, famous, elite, sought-after, and paid well. I am supposed to want to learn how to do things so I can earn money, feed myself, make it, make it big. No, make it Bigger. BIGGER.
The fact that I have posted daily on this blog since 1-5-2014 goes against a life-long struggle with commitment when it comes to work. I hate being pinned down, sitting at a desk, day after day, doing the same thing. On the flip side, I love coming home to the same house and the same person and the same pets. I could no sooner give up my family and home life to travel more than I could stop fantasizing about what I want to do next, or where I want to go next. The fact I am still blogging, that I haven’t given up against the internal struggles I fight again, and am still here trying to post is a freakin’ miracle.
Actually, I think the platform for my writing has a lot to do with my ability to write in it on a daily basis. I love the blogging interface. I feel like I am having a conversation with you inside my head. I have the time to craft what I want to say, and, hopefully, you will get the meaning that I am trying to convey in the way that I am trying to convey it. That is much harder than it sounds. The one area I am not following through on is on editing the story I chose for 2014. It’s on my short list of tasks, but I find the pull the to do’s to be almost irresistible. But that’s a topic for another post.
I like to make jewelry, which I will share as I make things. Lately, my interest has been in images in Gimp and/or the Zazzle interface on my Zazzle store. I am not sure how to make money from it, but I think it’s one area that I have found something I love to do. Hands on. Creative. Always new and fresh while using skills I have already learned.
I used to think that life was about making yourself useful for others. Having followed that belief like a die-hard believer who made no room for her Self, I am in the process of reversing that. Since June 2012, I have been in a privileged position to do school half to full time and then start a home-based freelance business. I have applied for a couple of jobs this week, both remote, one is temp and one is full-time. But at least I am now making decisions that also serve my needs.
Whether life is about being useful for others is, well, a topic for another post.