What’s a life like?

I am not sure anyone ever sat me down and explained what my life would be like. I looked up to people doing what I wanted to do, usually art related, such as painting, drawing, acting, or singing.

After years of doing the opposite, I found a way to reconstruct my life so that I can spend time writing about technical topics, preferably software related, from home. I received a Masters of Science in Technical Communication, moved, helped my dad, mourned my dad’s passing, and decided to start my own business doing freelance technical writing. I want to be home near my mom, who is without the love of her life for 65 years.

That is not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about living with chronic pain and fatigue. I wanted to talk about the fragility of my health. I wanted to talk about how one day of stomach pains sets off a stress chain reaction inside me such that I sleep 14 hours and then get up and feel tired all day. How I live with tension and sinus pain on a daily basis for which I do not take meds every single day. How I want to take care of myself, but taking care of myself means I am not out working. I am not out pounding the beat. I do not have the energy often to move my brain cells into activity. Even working at a job 40 hours a week means that I have energy for not much else, not cleaning, shopping, laundry, or hanging with friends.

That is my dilemma — get “out there” and exhaust myself, or take it easy when I need to. I feel isolated. I miss my Massachusetts friends. I miss my simple Victorian home in Cambridgeport with its lush garden hidden behind an eight foot wooden privacy fence. I miss biking around town to run my errands and the wind on my face. I miss the homeless and those with drug addictions who camp out at the Central Square bus stop. I miss Veggie Galaxy, a vegan/vegetarian dinner, and the staff, including (but not only) Michelle, Josh, Sam, Amanda, and anyone else who served me but whose name I forgot. I apologize.

I love photography and inspirational ideas. I am including a photo that I found on Facebook. If you know the author, please tell me so I can give the proper attribute to them. Here’s a bit of inspiration for you:

Image

The best I can do is write about my life, what I think, what I feel, and try to inspire myself to keep on chugging. Right after I take that nap.

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2 Comments

  1. You are very kind to include your memories of Veggie Galaxy and our staff members on your blog. Hope you will be back to visit Cambridge sometime. Meanwhile, it sounds like you are where you need to be. Wishing you peace and a pain-free future.

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