I am not sure anyone ever sat me down and explained what my life would be like. I looked up to people doing what I wanted to do, usually art related, such as painting, drawing, acting, or singing.
After years of doing the opposite, I found a way to reconstruct my life so that I can spend time writing about technical topics, preferably software related, from home. I received a Masters of Science in Technical Communication, moved, helped my dad, mourned my dad’s passing, and decided to start my own business doing freelance technical writing. I want to be home near my mom, who is without the love of her life for 65 years.
That is not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about living with chronic pain and fatigue. I wanted to talk about the fragility of my health. I wanted to talk about how one day of stomach pains sets off a stress chain reaction inside me such that I sleep 14 hours and then get up and feel tired all day. How I live with tension and sinus pain on a daily basis for which I do not take meds every single day. How I want to take care of myself, but taking care of myself means I am not out working. I am not out pounding the beat. I do not have the energy often to move my brain cells into activity. Even working at a job 40 hours a week means that I have energy for not much else, not cleaning, shopping, laundry, or hanging with friends.
That is my dilemma — get “out there” and exhaust myself, or take it easy when I need to. I feel isolated. I miss my Massachusetts friends. I miss my simple Victorian home in Cambridgeport with its lush garden hidden behind an eight foot wooden privacy fence. I miss biking around town to run my errands and the wind on my face. I miss the homeless and those with drug addictions who camp out at the Central Square bus stop. I miss Veggie Galaxy, a vegan/vegetarian dinner, and the staff, including (but not only) Michelle, Josh, Sam, Amanda, and anyone else who served me but whose name I forgot. I apologize.
I love photography and inspirational ideas. I am including a photo that I found on Facebook. If you know the author, please tell me so I can give the proper attribute to them. Here’s a bit of inspiration for you:
The best I can do is write about my life, what I think, what I feel, and try to inspire myself to keep on chugging. Right after I take that nap.