If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this:
Do what you feel, not what you tell yourself you want. Let your heart be free but rein in your mind. The brain rationalizes everything; the heart, nothing. At times like this, remember to be generous with yourself, forgiving yourself often and letting yourself start again, even if only a minute has passed. Be full of hope and love for yourself. I promise you, the rest will follow.