How Can I Forget You Now? (06-15-2007)

Believed that I was doin’ fine
‘Til thoughts of you crept in my mind
Like vines that choke the forest floor
They strangle my heart ’til I can’t take no more

How can I forget you now
That you’re buried somewhere deep inside?
How can I forget you now,
When thoughts of you are what keep me alive?

Whenever you’re near, I can hardly breathe
Your scent, your voice are all that I need
To make my heart race like winds stir up the ocean
I tremble with desires that only you set in motion

How can I forget you now?
I’m drowning cuz I’m in too deep
How can I forget you now?
I’m sinking, baby, with a pain that’s all too sweet

I keep dreamin’ I’ll tell you how I feel
Then you and me could make this hunger real
Even though I know you’ll never feel the same
My longing for you grows no matter what I do or say

How can I forget you now?
There’s gotta be a lesson that I can learn from this
How can I forget you now?
I’m on fire just thinking about your kiss

If there was a way I could even this score
I’d do it just to leave you with the wanting of more
Your brazen eyes get me all turned around
There’s just no way I can ever forget about you now

How can I forget you now,
When the thought of your touch leaves me like this?
How can I forget you now,
When I’m caught between Hell and eternal bliss?

rites of healing (12-16-2007)

I offer you this gift because it is all I can do in this time and space.  If I can give you this one thing, I will have given you all there is to give or possess in this world.

Imagine that I have led you into a secluded garden, hand in hand.  I sit you down on a stone bench facing a reflecting pool.  Evergreens surround us, filtering light and a summer’s breeze.  The scent of lavendar, sage and damp earth fill the air. I straddle the bench facing your left side. I place my left hand on your heart and my right hand on your back on the opposite side of your heart.  I ask you to close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly, and open your heart, mind and body to me.

Imagine that a warming heat travels from my heart, down my arms, through my hands and into your body.  Inside your heart is a place that I fill with this heat.  From front and back, you feel warmth glowing as it penetrates your chest, your back and your heart.  This heat represents all the love that was ever gifted to you from your mother, your father, your teachers, your mentors, your brothers, your sisters, your friends and your lovers, those in the past and those yet to come; it is the love of strangers and of animals and the earth.

Imagine that, with each breath, the energy flows out of me into you until the love has carved itself an eternal home in your heart. This is where love renews itself.  You can withdraw the love you need to heal when it seems that you have been forsaken, when disappointment and despair overwhelm and when you are alone. Afterwards, love will refill itself, ready for you if you need it again.  Because you have received these memories of love, you will never again be alone or lonely.

Imagine that I slowly take my  hands away from your body and open my eyes.  You open your eyes and turn your head to meet my gaze.  Smiling, we hold hands, saying nothing.  We close our eyes again, listening to the sounds of the forest and the water and the birds and the crickets, as our hearts beat together inside our chests.

to my dear friend, for whom I care more deeply than you’ll ever know

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this:

Do what you feel, not what you tell yourself you want. Let your heart be free but rein in your mind. The brain rationalizes everything; the heart, nothing.  At times like this, remember to be generous with yourself, forgiving yourself often and letting yourself start again, even if only a minute has passed.  Be full of hope and love for yourself.  I promise you, the rest will follow.